Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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