I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
