wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
