go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize