I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
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