The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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