just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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