ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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