just tell him i said nine months
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
