apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
