yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
