Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
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