Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
