We won't sleep together?
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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