I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
