It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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