We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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