I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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