She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
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