he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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