sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
