But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize