Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
