I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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