the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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