watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
