Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
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doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
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Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.