i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?