you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?