Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
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There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
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I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.