the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave