went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia