If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.