I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
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Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
What drink are we having for lunch?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
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did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.