is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
