"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
