where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
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