u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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