I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
