We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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