A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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