Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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