Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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