You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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