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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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