Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize