Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
