I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
