you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
He felt like a one man threesome
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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