Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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