using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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