i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bang-toberfest begins!!
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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