He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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