I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
