Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
