if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
