My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
So much rum. So many feels.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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