We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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