isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
