i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
