Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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