dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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