Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I pour the whiskey from now on
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
