I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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